OMG! You have ovaries?? Me too!! We should talk!

Unless they are deeply in tune with their inner feminine, or care deeply for a woman who has faced ‘female’ issues, this topic will not be to the liking of most men.  Consider yourself warned.  Frank talk about woman parts awaits you.

In the beginning, God created man, then woman….and immediately she wrecked the whole arrangement.   We faced our nudity.  Shame followed.  Sex became taboo and as such all of the anatomy associated with it. Ovaries.  Uterus.  Fallopian tubes.  Breasts.  In our current social climate, all are the shameful property of Lillith.  Personally, I place the blame for anatomical shaming squarely on the incorporation of particular faith views into education, both at home and at school.  It is important to understand the human body for it’s function, not merely for it’s lustful tendencies.

Ladies, most of us on genetic team XX have the same parts.  Of course I mean no disrespect to any of you who might have eliminated any of those parts out of need or desire.  This is, in fact, about discussing those situations.  Aside from your physician, who do you turn to when you have those potentially awkward, maybe embarrassing, female questions??  I giggle in my head as I recall those horrible Massengill commercials from the 90’s, yet there’s a great example.  In reality none of us walk barefooted down the beach asking our mother about not feeling fresh.

As I drove home tonight, I began pondering my upcoming yearly appointment.  You all know the one.  “Scoot on down here and put your feet up in the stirrups.”  I am approaching 39 and have been on some sort of birth control well over half my life. For the last few years, I have been considering a change.  Last year I approached the idea with my doctor.  He was adamantly against anything other than status quot.  Maintain and carry on.  I trust him, and see no reason why he would mislead me, but why not either help me consider other options, or explain to me his rationale on staying the course.  At that point it became very clear to me that I had too little female voice in my life.

Why do we not have these conversations with each other, and frequently?  We all know a woman who has had scary real life problems.  Breast cancer.  Cervical cancer.  Fibroids.  Ovarian cysts.  Reproductive difficulties.  Men can walk around adjusting themselves all day and no one flinches.  There are lots of commercials for erectile dysfunction.  No one minds.  When women have problems it is automatically something to be embarrassed by.  It’s hush hush.  We are supposed to be ashamed of the difficulties of our bodies.  Too often our mothers didn’t talk about their difficulties, and their mothers were silent before them.  Do YOU know your full maternal medical history??  Because these situations are held so closed mouth, we are often at a loss in how to approach them, even with our mothers, sisters, and closest friends.

I am the only owner of a never used uterus.  Emotionally, I’m not that attached to it, but physically it’s fairly well glued in.  I’d sell it on eBay if that were legal.  Seriously though.  If someone had suggested what a disaster the IUD could be, I might have reconsidered.  Given my experience, I would welcome the chance to help educate another woman who might be considering one.  This is where the trust factor comes in.  Too often, and in lady-group conversation, these topics become a sort of pissing contest as to who has had the worst time.  “I thought I’d die.” is only an acceptable description if your life was actually in peril.  When finding the woman with whom to have these conversations, it will be important to consider how grounded they are in conversational reality.  You might hear things you weren’t prepared for, but you might NEED to hear those things.  Likewise, they may need your insight too.

Sometimes we simply need the reassurance of someone who has been there before us.   In the long run, this type of honest exchange amongst our ranks can only be a benefit.  If you have sisters (biological or otherwise) talk to them.  If you are fortunate enough to still have a mother, grandmother, or fairy god mother, talk to them.  I am working on this myself.  It isn’t always comfortable, because we weren’t raised for this to be normal conversation.  Let’s make new rules.  It’s 2016.  We shouldn’t have to whisper the anatomical names of our body parts.