Those of you who know me and know what I do for a living, are not unfamiliar with my observations about “Sunday people”.

For those of you who might be less familiar, (Warning:  This could be potentially offensive to some of your delicate flower types.) “Sunday People” are the folks in their fancy clothes, fresh out of church.  They’ve said their prayer, repented their sins of the last week, gave their tithe, and have their particular deity’s ‘good to go’ to inflict their contempt on the rest of us.  Ask ANYONE who has had the distinct experience of a retail or food Sunday.  They know the horrible manners, rude behavior, and bad tipping associated with this bunch.

First, let me clarify, not ALL church goers fall into the aforementioned category.  There are lots of really good people in this world.  There are lots of people who are polite, appreciative of your time and service, and still more who simply go home for lunch and family time.  As a child, I recall leaving church and driving by the only diner in our small community.  It seemed as if half of our congregation was sitting down for a second ‘communion’ and my family never participated.  I never understood why my parents opted out of what seemed like a further celebration of our church friendships.  We went home, made a simple lunch, and did family things.  Our family time never included shopping for fun.  IF we went shopping, it was because someone was popping out the toes of their shoes, or had literally outgrown their pants.  These outings were sacred, frugal, and ultimately polite.  Please. Thank you.  Waiting quietly in line.  Not being upset if your size wasn’t available, because it simply meant that someone else got there first, and that was ok.  Our necessity shopping never occurred on a Sunday.

This would be a good time for me to be forthright and say I have worked far too many consecutive Sundays.  Today it occurred to me that I am being oppressed for NOT being a church goer.  I cannot, in fact, recall the last time I was in a church for a reason other than a wedding or a funeral.  I don’t have a problem with organized faith.  I have a problem with bigotry, hipocricy, and a propaganda of hate…but that’s a different topic.  Today it occurs to me that I am scheduled every Sunday because I don’t attend a church.

If I could only find an alternative.  Some reason why I would have to have the same privilege of exemption that many of my past and current coworkers have come to expect. With this in mind, and with the basic idea that God is love (right??), and dogs love you unconditionally, I am giving consideration (albeit not seriously) to finding one of those 30 minute online ordination sites to begin The Church of Dog.  Dog is Love.  I’d have a congregation of 2 in my living room every Sunday.  There would be treats.  Everyone would use their good manners and inside voices.  No one would go shopping or dining afterward.  We’d share fruits and veggies for lunch, and after a roll in the grass we’d all have a nap.  Our church could have outreach in the community, visiting nursing homes and hospitals, sharing the love of Dog. . . . and we’d be tax exempt too!!

Long story short.  I’ll always have to work on Sundays.  Every week those “Sunday people” make me less and less likely to ever participate in their version of ‘church’ again.   I wish they’d just go home, make a simple family lunch, and spend time with their family, raising respectful and appreciative children, and helping create the better world that their congregations all pine for.

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