I genuinely hate a dick measuring contest!!
“Hey, lemme ax you sumthin.” I hate (yes, harsh word) when a person approaches me to ask a question related to my work, then proceed to tell me the ‘correct’ answer based on their particular limited experience. Why ask the question in the first place?? Generally you ask a question or seek advice in hopes of improving a situation. Asking me a question, hearing my answer, then following it with a series of berating or condescending statements will result in a brief series of events.
Initially, I will give the inquirer the opportunity to go away and do it the way they want, as long as it is understood that the particular topic is now null and void for further discussion. If the condescension continues, I might bring up that I’ve been in this line of work for a long time and my years of experience provide my rationale for my answer. The expectation I have for this option is almost always the outcome, with a return statement beginning with the words, “I’ve been doing this since I was a kid….blah blah….” as if they started their expertise as a fetus. (Again, if you’re so certain of your methods then why did you ask?? Oh?? Just wanted to wave around your manhood a little??) This reaction will again be given the opportunity to go away on it’s own….but that never happens. No. At this point in my attempting to answer THEIR question, they (almost always a man between 25 and 55) will make some comment about not being told by ‘some girl’.
This is the proverbial slippery slope. Here is where there is a temptation. I’m not just ‘some girl’. I’m proud of the work I’ve done to gain what I know. In the course of my employment, I’ve done some extraordinarily cool things. It would be so easy to list off the resume. It would be fun to strip down the conversation to details and minutia to make my point…but I won’t. See, I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to wave around credentials or provide references, although on occasion my staff will do it for me – which always makes me laugh inside a little. There is a balance of knowing it and being a know it all.
I’ll be the first to tell you if I don’t know the answer to something. I’ll help you find resources, or we can find the answer out together. Learning is fun. In no way do I think I’m the only educated female this happens to. There are idiot ass-hats everywhere. I simply don’t like being a woman forced into a dick measuring contest only to find my opponent arrived ill equipped.